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February 2, 2005

(Sad) State of the Union

EDITOR'S NOTE on the below - the rule is that I drink a shot of beer every time the word "Liberty" or "Freedom" is used.

So, comes time for Chimpy McPresident to give his annual lecture. Is it the subwoofer in my TV, which I didn't have during the Clinton years, that is creating all this bass from the right side of the floor, or is it the bassy, guttural grunts coming from the warmongers on the right? I can't quite tell. Someone help me out on this.

Is it me or are these speeches and (shock!) live press conferences seeming more and more like support group meetings, like AA or a born-again church group, both of which our fearless leader is a card-carrying member of? As if the duty of the pre-approved crowd is to maintain the allure that this doof is doing a good job lest they medicate him again. BTW, can someone please dirty bomb that fucking sneer off of Cheney's face. Please.

I don't know why I'm even watching - a more constructive use of my time would be slamming my head in the doorjam. See, this type of address truly loses it's purpose in the age of cable news, the internet, blogs, etc. So it's no surprise, and all that is left to see how "on message" chimpy stays. Worse off, now that there are 100 cameras with air lights on them, most people IN the seats know when they are on camera and stiffen up like Ken dolls. It's all such a laugh.

Yes George, the scourge of 2005 is gangs. Stand. Clap. I guess Straight Outta Compton just made it to Crawford. Hey, Laura Bush got a real job! Now SHE knows how to talk to an innercity sista.

Yes George, you built a coalition. Don't recruit more terrorists. Nah the Iraqi invasion didn't spawn any terrorism. Never happened. Noone's watching. Freedom's on the march!

Yes George, you can take credit for Arafat dying. It's all you B! Freedom's on the march.

Syrian what act? Ooh now picking fights with Iran.

"We're fighting terrorists in Iraq so we don't have to face them at home." Dude, WTF. Last time I checked, Iraqi terrorists weren't coming after us BEFORE we invaded their country. Actually, they kind of became terrorists when you lied to the world and rushed to war. But it's all good now because they had an election.

Holy shit people stood up with purple fingers. You've got to be fucking kidding me. I thought purple meant gay like the Teletubby? They even got an ethnic dude mixed in with the old white men.

10:00 already...the ceremonial passing of the dogtag from Iraqi to the Texan momma is really killing my buzz here...

More later...

Posted by raji at February 2, 2005 9:30 PM

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