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February 7, 2006

CSI:Miami Drinking game

If David Caruso's acting wasn't so horribly BAD, this drinking game wouldn't be so GOOD

The David Caruso Drinking Game

Caruso.jpg

On CSI: Miami, David Caruso plays Lt. Horatio “cool-as-a-cucumber” Caine, or “H” for short. Early NYPD Blue fans will remember Caruso as Andy Sipowicz’s first partner – and the guy who left the show in order to have a “movie career.”

But that didn’t quite happen. So now he’s back on TV leading the procedural crime drama ensemble (filmed in Manhattan Beach) -- which is great for those of us who want to entertain themselves on a really crappy television night (sorry Wife Swap fans). LAist, therefore, would like to introduce our version of “The David Caruso Drinking Game.”

We know that there are several versions of the CSI: Miami drinking game already out there, but we wanted to focus on the greatness that is David Caruso. You see, he plays H so seriously, so one-dimensionally, that we can’t help but guffaw at his dramatic acting tics. Without further ado, here are LAist's rules…


Get your favorite beer ready. (We thought about playing this with hard liquor, but that would be begging for alcohol poisoning before the first commercial break, so beer is the drink of choice for the Caruso.)


1. Drink a sip every time someone calls him "H" not "Horatio"

2. Take one swig every time H places his arms akimbo (on his hips).

3. Take two swigs when Horatio takes his sunglasses off for dramatic effect.

4. Likewise, take two swigs when Horatio puts his sunglasses on for dramatic effect.

5. Take three gulps when H wears a dark blazer in the middle of an investigation. (Hello, pastels…this is hot and humid Miami…Crockett and Tubbs land, remember).

6. Drink for four counts when he addresses Jonathan Togo's character as “Mr. Wolfe.”

7. Drink for five counts when he’s talking and his head is tilted at a 45-degree angle. (Don’t forget to add another count if he has his arms akimbo at the same time.)

8. Drink for six counts when the camera films him entering the scene from a low angle for dramatic effect. Some games refer to this as the "Horatio-as-Christ" shot. (Is this because he’s short? IMDB lists him as 5’11.”)

9. Drink for seven if you ever see him smile. (This is extremely rare, but it does happen on occasion.)

10. Guzzle the entire can/bottle when an incredibly hot babe hits on Horatio. Cause, really, she must have the beer goggles on. Or we should put them on in order to buy it.

If you aren’t a fan of CSI: Miami, trust us, you will be after one round of Caruso playing. Oh yeah, and it really helps if you don’t have to be anywhere early on Tuesday morning. Bottoms up!

Posted by raji at February 7, 2006 11:11 AM

Comments

Okay, I would also add three swigs for every time he talks to someone without actually looking that the person--ya know, because he's that cool. This can rack up major combo scores along with arms akimbo and head tilt.

Posted by: Mike at February 7, 2006 11:56 AM

Perfect. The fact that you included the whole "Mr. Wolfe" line is classic.

If people wanted to expand the game to other characters to ensure they got totally hammered they could take a swig everytime that coroner chick calls a corpse "baby"!!!

That always creeps me out.

Posted by: Jeff at March 27, 2006 2:16 PM

Is that coroner chick also on one of the Law and Orders??? Looks awfully familiar.

CSI: Miami is off my DVR list I ran out of booze in like 2 weeks...

Posted by: raji at March 31, 2006 1:09 AM

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